shrek bowie otp

 

Anonymous asked
DAVID BOWIE'S ASS IS COVERED IN WARTS FROM SHREKING IT UP WITH SHREK SO MUCH

eart-hl-i-ng:

I AM SO FUCKING DONE

Anonymous asked
nothings gets david bowie off more than seeing shrek in assless chaps. assless chaps are david bowie's favorite

eart-hl-i-ng:

i AM SO DONE WITH YOU ANON

Anonymous asked
plz write more i rlly like ur fics :)

writing about this pairing only
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"…the fault in our shrek was that he didn’t love me back. i wanted his rough, onion-y, green skin caressing me, but he just turned away. I was ignored. I was Green in every way except the one way that mattered to him. I could never satisfy an Ogre, and Shrek knew it. He never even gave me a chance, but he should have! I’m John bloody Green! We belong together!  I digress. Shrek was the quintessential ogre: perfect in every way, except for one fault: he would never acknowledge me. Listen to me tell my story in The Fault In Our Shrek: The Story Of (my) John Green’s Struggle. i was Green with envy when i gazed upon that perfect ogre body. When was the last time the SHREK kissed the JOHN GREEN in a teen romance? the fault in our shrek.." - John Green review of his own semi-autobiographical book The Fault In Our Shrek

Anonymous asked
it's not ogre it's never ogre

then explain how it’s all ogre right now if it’s never ogre???

Anonymous asked
Shrek is a homeshreker! He stole David Bowie away from me - PuttPutt

do not believe this anti shrek propaganda, lies, and slander from lord farquaad’s allies. team shrek forever after!

THE SHREK/BOWIE SWAMP GETS A VISIT FROM SHREKKITA

The household of David Bowie and Shrek receives a visit from Shrekkita, Shrek's sister. 

It was an ordinary afternoon in the Shrek/Bowie household. Shrek —wearing a floral-printed white apron, electric blue oven mitts, stiletto high heels, fishnet stockings, red lipstick, and nothing more— had been baking onion cookies, when David Bowie entered through the front door with his briefcase. 
"Honey! I’m home" David shouted. 

Shrek immediately dropped the tray of onion cookies he had been holding. “WHAT ARE YE DOIN ON MY SWAMP!!!?” Shrek roared. 

David shivered. “Shrek,” he said to the ogre, “You know I love it when you get rough with me.” Mr. Bowie winked and set down his briefcase. He loosened his tie and closed the front door. 

Shrek angrily charged towards David. David Bowie began to worry. Perhaps Shrek was not playing around? Still, he did not have time for this. “Shrek, darling, I’m tired. I’ve just had a long day pretending to be working. See the briefcase? I don’t want to wrestle with you now, dear.” 

Shrek was confused. “Listen, boy, I don’t know who ye are, but ya gotta get off me swamp! NOW!!” he yelled. 

"Shrek…. It’s me… David. David Bowie? Your one true love? Shrek, what’s going on?!" David caught a glimpse of someone — or something — hiding behind a corner, covering its mouth with its hand. It appeared to be giggling. The thing noticed David noticing it, and ran. 

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